brianna.org

You are responsible for your own embarkation

December 31, 2014

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The year kicks over tomorrow and I want the momentum of it to push me ahead. I keep seeing a lot of anger and rancour toward 2014 on the web and even though I had an extremely hard year, I would do it all over again. Easy.

I moved out, then moved back in. I couldn’t give up my farm that easily; I’d like to build a tiny house on the land, to weatherproof my living situation against emotional storms. The boys are so much happier here, even if I have reservations. Liam is a much more confident little boy when he goes to bed with both his parents under the same roof. I knew it was important to me before I moved out this year, and I felt it keenly every day we were living in town in that crumbling little rental, but now that we are back the evidence of it is in everything.

So that means I have to learn what I’m willing to live with, and what I’m not.

I’m excited for 2015. I’m starting this year off as the mother of little boys, instead of babies. I have amazing help, and a job I like. I spent the past six weeks in a creative frenzy making gifts for the holidays, and was reminded all over again how much I love making things. I’m peaceful in a way I haven’t been in a long time, and as always it makes me want to document it here. The long silent stretches are exactly timed with unhappiness in my life. I’m happy. I want to share it.

Happy New Year, and I hope this is the best 2015 of your life.