brianna.org

my time in the snow

January 27, 2004

The snow is coming down in waves of white. The sky is the same blank, somber grey it always is when it snows. I feigned a reason to go out, and bundled myself in my scarf and overcoat.

I wanted to experience the stillness of a snowfall – but the cars in the parking lot were choking me with fumes and blaring their horns. I kept my face turned to the sky, and traced the outline of the trees along the clouds. I was covered in white when I returned.

When I first moved back to the mountains ten years ago, I would take my walkman out into a snowstorm and lay on my back on the wooden bridge across the creek, watching the snow rush to my face while listening to Clannad. I never missed a chance to go out into the snow – I wanted it to fall into me and consume me. I wanted its whiteness and its cold purity.

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